Jobe, Cross Dresser Extraordinaire
Keywords: Extraordinaire, Dresser, Cross, Jobe,,
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I used to be pretty bored. Not last week, or a mouth ago, but the last twenty five years. Life has just always seemed to be… dull. But lately, things have been looking up. I grew my hair out recently, I've got black hair, I'm tall and skinny, perfect body to pretend you're a girl in.
I'm the public relations man for a large company. Most of my work is done outside the office but I'm still there a few days out of every week. I can put on emotions pretty good. Here comes Tom for example, he has no idea that I think he's the dumbest guy that works here.
"Hey Joe, can I talk to you for a second?" I thought, No you idiot leave me alone.
"Sure Tom, what ya need?"
"Well, this report you handed in is due on Friday." He handed me a folder.
"Well Tom…its Wednesday." He looked at me as though I were an idiot.
"I know," he lowered his voice. "Right now I don't have any assignments. If you turn this in now I'll have to tell my boss I'm ready for my next project, Joe, I'm on level ten in Flash Whack A Mole."
Internet games, God what an idiot. "Okay, so I'll hold on to this till Friday and you and I both won't have to work."
"Thanks Joe!" Off Tom went to play Whack A Mole. I can't stand it when people call me Joe. It's Jobe. There's a B.
Except the Boss, she can call me Joe. Hearing her say my name, in whatever way she wants to, is lovely. I think she's so beautiful, I suppose most people wouldn't think so. She's short, small breast, pale skin… and she's and most obvious dyke you've ever seen. The minute she opens her month you know she's a lesbian. And she has an air about her… I can only describe it as a masculine kind of presence.
I can't stand girly girls. I hate it when people act… well, overly happy. I rarely smile; people think I'm bored with them when I don't pretend to be cheerful, and… their right of course.
I'm headed to see the Boss, the high point of my day. But first I had to get past her damn secretary.
"Hey Joe what's up?" There she goes. Well I was thinking about how much you annoy me.
"Nothing Jill just came to see the boss." So don't say anything else, huh?
"Well I hope you have a good time." Damn you!
"Are you trying to say something?" I didn't mean to say that out loud, it's a good thing I didn't swear at her.
"Just that you seem to drop in a lot."
"Yeah, Jobe and the dyke boss are in a secret love affair." She giggled. I hate it when girls giggle. It grates on my nerves. When men make a low laugh like that they chuckle, the boss chuckles, she's a man inside I think.
I made my escape into the boss's lair.
"Oh, I'm glad its you Joe, I thought it was somebody that worked for me." She's always giving me crap. We both love sarcasm, I like the way she mocks everyone around her. I wish I could do that, but then I'd probably get fired. But wait… something isn't right… is it Wednesday? It is… she should be grumpy as hell. It could only be one thing.
"Did you have sex before you came in today?" She was shocked. "JOE! Not so loud… I mean… NONE OF YOUR NONESENSE TODAY JOE! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!"
I started to leave. "Hey!" I stopped and turned around.
"Yeah?"
"How'd you know?"
"Well its Wednesday and your happy, it could only be one thing."
"SHUT UP AND GET OUT!" She's really cool.
I wondered; Was that the high point of my day? After I escaped another drilling by Jill I made for the safety of my cubicle. If only it had a door I could lock.
Tom may have been on to something. For the next few hours I played some intense games of Whack A Mole. I didn't see how you could get to level ten; I couldn't make it past six.
My mind started to wander… the boss had only been the boss for a few weeks but we'd gotten to know each other fast. It occurred to me then that perhaps I could see her again at lunch. I don't know why it hadn't occurred to me but now that the idea was in my head I vowed to stop at nothing to eat lunch with the boss.
I spent the next hour fantasizing about eating lunch with the boss. I know, I'm a perv. Then came the fateful hour.
I was about to head over to her office when I felt the distinct impact of a fist on the back of my head.
"Ahh!" I turned around and there she was, as radiant with anger as ever and twice as sexy for it.
"You! You're coming to lunch with me!" She stood behind me giving me her fiercest glare, hands on hips.
I rubbed the back of my head, "Your request fills my heart with a joy the likes of which have not shined in this mortal coil since the days of my youth."
"Wha… well… Where going to Wendy's!"
Wendy's was just down the street. My boss ate with the same anger that she did everything else.
"You know boss, I think that the foods already dead."
"Shut up ass munch." She attacked her fries. "You know though, Wendy is my first name."
"I didn't know."
"Just don't call me it."
"Sure boss."
She finished quickly. She saw that I was only half done. "Shit Joe you eat like a bitch."
We both chuckled. I nearly chocked on my Jr. Beacon, which made it really funny to her.
"It's always funnier when someone gets hurt." She was really in a good mood. She started to chat with me, telling me all about her self. At first I prompted her to tell me about herself but before long she was volunteering more and more personal information.
I listened to every word she said, I had to know more about her… she was the most interesting person I had every met. In many ways she was an angrier version of me.
"This morning I had sex with a whore that lives next door." It's a good thing I was done eating. "Yeah, she in the oldest profession ya know?"
"I can't believe you just told me that." She was a hurricane, there was no stopping her.
"I like her cause she acts great. I like to dominate my lovers and she really makes me feel like she's my little bitch."
"Your so cool." She didn't seem to hear.
"You know Joe I used to think I was a lesbo but now I think the reason I like women is that I just need to be on top ya know? I need to fuck not get fucked ya see?"
"I can't relate…" Holy shit! Is she coming on to me?
"With which part?"
"I wouldn't know about being a lesbo."
"HAHAHAHA! Oh look, it's time to go back to work, chop chop Joe."
The rest of the day was a blur. What the fuck had just happened to me?
I decided that Wendy had come on to me. Even if she hadn't I wanted her, and when guys like chicks they let them know, right? I suddenly started to feel very excited. I didn't just want to come on to her I wanted to wow her, do something that would say; "Hey I may be guy but I can still be your bitch."
And so I invented Jubilee. She wears a long skirt, a baggy sweater, braids her long black hair into pony tails and wears red lipstick and fake nails. My own nails aren't long enough you see. Of course she'd shaved her body real good. The baggy clothes disguised my male (if girly) frame.
I looked good as a girl. I wasn't my type mind you, but I was dressed for a certain dyke.
Wendy was shy with me Thursday and Friday, she seemed down. I think she thought I had sent her some negative signal. But it would soon be remedied.
I knew the first bar she always went to start her hunt. Jubilee was waiting for her there.
I wasn't nervous at all; I could see that more then half the people that saw me couldn't tell I was a man. I would let Wendy get a little drunk, and then I'd be sure to go undetected. She always started off with two beers.
I could see her go into hunting mode. After her second beer she sat up and looked around, scanning the room for possible playmates. I ordered a beer and didn't look at her.
Then some punk sat down next to me. Oh shit.
"So how much?" The comedy.
"Dude, I'm a guy."
"I know, you look good though, at first I thought you were a girl, so how much."
"I'm not a Harlot." I love the word harlot. It's an old word for prostitute, if you didn't know.
"Everybody's got a price. What's your name?" He seemed like a smart guy. So why was he trying to pick up a cross dressing whore?
"My price is too high for you."
"Really? Here's the deal, I have some friends that love sissy boys and I owe them big, so if you could help me out…"
I realized that I had been using my girl voice. Shit.
"Listen here punk; I'm no damn sissy boy. I'm dressed up like this cause…" I looked back and saw that Wendy had already left. "Shit! Damn! Fuck! Ass! Bitch!" I looked back at him. "I'm should brake your neck you fucker."
"Wow now, I'm sorry I caused you trouble, how about I make it up to you? Do my job and I'll give you five thousand dollars cash."
Well, I had no idea where Wendy would go next so…I smiled, "Well, everyone has their price don't they? I'm afraid I'd have to ask for the money up front though."
He led me out to his car and gave me a purse full of money. I had forgotten to bring a purse. "You mean I get five gees and a purse, I'm feeling like a slut now baby!"
He drove me downtown to an old apartment building and led me up to the third floor. I was a bit nervous by now, but also kind of excited.
He led me into an apartment, then into the master bedroom. Sitting on the bed were two girls, dressed in cheerleader outfits.
Ridiculous. The one on the right smiled, "Wow, and I didn't think you could do it Roger. Thanks for the treat, you can go now." My escort made his exit. The girls introduced themselves as Sarah and Mary.
They both had nice breast. We guys always notice a women's breast before anything else. Sometimes it's hard not to stare. It's like there's a magnet in your eyes that draws them there. With practice, I've learned to turn the magnet off, but in this obviously sexual situation it had come back on.
Something occurred to me, "You know, I was sure I was brought here to be a bitch for some guys." They looked at each other and smiled.
"Nope, were all bitches here… but you in particular. We'll just call you Cunt, okay?"
"Sure." Whatever.
The girls motioned for me to sit between them and I did. Sarah got off the bed and sat in a chair, watching us.
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Keywords: Extraordinaire, Dresser, Cross, Jobe,,