Am I Who I Think I Am?
Keywords: Am, Who, I, Think, I, Am?, I,
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I was strolling around the mall today wearing one of my favorite girly toe rings with my girly-boy shorts and sandals. I was in one of those moods. I wasn't feeling very manly today and haven't been for quite awhile, but not sure how to feel. When I feel like this. I try to be as feminine as I dare, especially since I'm not sure just what I am right now! I really wish I had to courage to be both!
I like visiting the mall and getting as close to feminine as I dare without being "noticed" as anything other than an unusual dresser. That's why I like to wear toe rings, sandals, ladies shorts, and a shirt with a feminine logo and anything else I think I can get away with. There is a certain cut to the clothes that are unisex at a casual glance, but draw looks from men who probably don't know exactly what drew their glance to "that guy" over there. Designers spend millions to get that glance to "that girl," so why not me? I want to be noticed, but not seen, as I look at the lingerie (Why are baby dolls so hard to find now a days!), the panties (A thong, or something with harder seams that will show through?), shorts (how daring am I this time?), and of course the thin tops that work for my style (Shall I darken my areola's to draw Interested glances, I muse?). Girls have all the fun!
I'm really hoping someday to meet a Mr. Right who knows what to do with a girly boy like me. I need someone who knows what I want because I sure don't! I'm too shy to actually hit on a guy. I never have had sex with one and I probably wouldn't do it right anyway. The guys that did hit on me made me too nervous to welcome their advances. I guess I am doomed to a life of half measures!
In my mall excursion today, I notice a nice looking guy at a jewelry place that sells anklets, toe rings, etc., and decided to sashay over and see what they had. (And gauge his reaction, of course. I need to find someone who is cool, understanding, can read my mind, knows I am scared spitless and on the make at the same time, non-judgmental, gay or bi, holds hands with Jesus, and thinks I am just "normal." Oh yes, and he has to be attractive, strong, and handsome!).
This guy was really cute, and looked me right in the eyes. I was mesmerized for a second when he asked, "May I help you?"
Breaking myself out of my trance, I stammered and blurted out, "Yes, do you have toe rings in size 6?"
When I realized I was blushing I blushed even more! I felt so exposed! (Wow, if he only knew what I was thinking!).
"Yes, but I am going on break soon. I'd be glad to stay and help you if you'd like."
He introduced himself as "Gary," and shook my hand. (I gave him my most feminine, soft handshake!).
"I'm Chris," I replied sweetly.
He saw the toe ring I was wearing and asked if I was shopping for myself. I said I was and I was looking for another one. He commented that he doesn't see very many guys in toe rings!
I blushed and blurted out "Some guys like them!"
He smiled and said he was only commenting, and that we are all friends here, and that I was exceptional and that I needn't blush, and I would be a compliment to his toe rings, and please stop blushing! Which made be blush brighter! Then he smiled a warm and welcome smile, and asked me what size I wore, and I told him a size 6. He asked me if I would mind him sizing it.
To my surprise, when I sat down and bent down to take it off, he said "Oh no, I'll do it if it is ok with you, it's part of my job!"
He squirted some Windex on my toe (wow, it tickled!) and off it came. He put it on the measuring thingy and said "You were right honey, a perfect 6! Oops, sorry, umm, sir, I meant, umm.."
He was blushing so I quipped: "You can call me honey just this once."
"Thanks...honey!" He says again with a little smirk.
He started showing me a tray of rings similar to I was wearing, and asked me if he could check the fit. (I couldn't pass up a flirt as cute as him!), so I said "Sure!"
He said he wanted to try a 5, so he got some Windex and squirted it on my toes (Oh, that feeling again!) I jumped & my heart leaped! "Is it too cold" He asked?
"N-N-No, It just feels ...very...very nice," breathlessly trying to remain in control of my emotions, and not give anything away.
He finally worked the ring onto my toe and it was just too tight. And then didn't want to come off. It was stuck. He apologized and he said he had to really work it to get it off again and would I be more comfortable doing it myself or would I like him to?
"I'd like it if you would," I cooed...
Gently he takes my foot in his hands. Resting my sole in his palm, he dabs the Windex purposefully, gently lifts my foot, and then rubs the Windex between and around my toes lubing everything up. (trying too look up my short's leg, I hope? God, what if he sees my panties!). I had a seriously excited boy-clittie, my heart was pounding out of my chest! His hands were tickling my feet everywhere - I was trying not to giggle!
Finally, after some effort, he got it off and said, "Oh, we've got to do that again!"
"I hope it was as good for you as it was for me!" I chirped.
And then I realized what I said, and started blushing again!
"That's ok" he replies. And teasingly adds, "I think blushing is cute!"
And then he slowly proceeded to spray my other foot with the Windex, getting between my toes again, holding the sole of my foot in the palm of his hand, blowing softly to let it dry. Ohhh...He was smiling and blushing a little, too....
"Was that ok too?"
I was speechless! I'm sure he could hear my heart beating! This guy has a foot thing, and I'm loving that!
"Very OK," I stammered.
God I hope this is real, I'm thinking...If he's straight I'm going to curl up and die!
Finally, (before I had a heart attack), he started showing me some trays of toe rings and asked me what I thought. I said they were nice.
"But what do you think looks best?" I asked.
He showed me some plain bands, then some two-tone bands, and then asked my opinion again.
"Do you have something, you know, less masculine?" I replied.
He smiled. "Hmm, less masculine? Or do you mean more feminine?"
He was just drawing the truth right out of me! Things I have never admitted to myself, let alone to a male store clerk I didn't even know! I didn't know whether to run and hide, or simply shut up and be a nice girl and accept what life delivers! Besides, I was hot. My clittle was getting hard. I was having fun. Maybe he was too!
I was kind of unsure what to say, so he looked directly into my eyes and said "Well, lets try some really girly styles! You'll love them! If they are too girly, let me know and we'll go from there."
I'm thinking, too girly? Not a chance! I am so hot I could grab him right here!
Thank God he took charge, my heart was racing, I was sweating, trying to calm down, hide my clittie, hide my panties, hide my heartbeat, maybe just hide! He shows me a wider band with pink and blue round stones in it. "Is this feminine enough?" He asks?
"I think so." I replied stupidly.
"How about this one?" He says, and shows me an ultra-feminine string of hearts made with multi-colored stones.
"I think that one is really nice!"
"Here's another style I'd like to see on you."
He puts on a nice purple, yellow, orange, blue affair that has a thin gold chain running up to an anklet with a string of similar stones. "Wow! That's pretty! What do you think?" He asks.
"I don't know if I have the legs for it!" I said, teasingly.
"Oh, I think you do! It looks really sexy!"
Then he says, "How about this one on the other foot?" He showed me a cute but fairly wide gold band with intertwined nudes, 14K!
"I can't really afford that!" I replied.
"Yes you can" As he slips it on he says, "I'll give you my cost of $ 24. Think about it! Besides, I think one on each foot is just perfect for you. Would you like to try it out for awhile and join me on break?" He asked. (Is he just being nice, or hitting on me? Hmmm.)
I agreed and we walked around talking and smiling - just like a real first date!
I boldly took him with me into a ladies' shop and bought a pair of women's shorts that might pass for men's. (Upping the ante a little, testing the waters.)
"I just don't fill out men's shorts well. I suppose no one notices. Now you know my secret!" I explained.
"They fit you very well, they make you look...well, sexy! They probably look better than men's anyway. They seem to conform better to your shape! And I mean that in a good way! I think they are kind of hot!"
I gushed "Really? Thank You, you are so sweet to say that!" I began to feel my inhibitions slipping away as I realized he really liked me for who I was. He didn't seem like a weirdo, and even seemed pleased to be seen with me.
"Here, try on this belt!" He says. It was wide metal, with shiny oval rings laced together with a part hanging down in front, definitely a woman's belt. It was shiny, bright and dangly.
"Its pretty" I replied, "but I think it may be too feminine. I might embarrass you!"
"Not a chance" he said. He took my hand, and gave me a little peck on the cheek, and said "I like you as sweet as you can be, is that OK with you?"
I replied, (Upping the ante, and my courage, just testing...)
"I think so. Am I, like, your girl for today?"
He replied, "Only if you want to be!" I squeezed his hand back in reassurance. I was one happy boy!
We wandered back to his shop and played around with more toe rings and the Windex (and my feelings - I was soooo hot!) Finally it was closing time.
"Well, I suppose I should get going, I guess." (I'm thinking...please say: "No, don't go!")
He replied, "Are you in a rush?" "I really wish you would stay." "I've had lots of fun today, you are welcome to stay while I close up!" (Thank you! There is a God!) He started dropping the gate and said "In or out?"
The moment of truth. "In or out." Where have we heard that before? Hesitating, and thinking a thousand thoughts about what I meant to do today, versus what I am doing now, versus what I might end up doing.
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Keywords: Am, Who, I, Think, I, Am?, I,