Epiphany
Keywords: Epiphany,
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My girlfriend Tonya was out of town for the weekend. She was meeting some college friends and going shopping and carousing in the city. A typical girls' weekend. I kissed her good bye at about 4:30 pm on Friday. We had become pretty close in the year that we had been dating. She was a cute blonde with the lithe athletic build I loved so much. We also got along so well. We were like drinking pals that enjoyed sex together. I knew that I was lucky to have her.
Yet as close as we had become I couldn't bring myself to tell her my biggest secret. Whenever my girlfriend was out of town for any length of time I engaged in my favorite pastime. I was addicted to dressing as a woman. I would even be so bold as to take drives around town dressed up.
I know I have one hell of a fucked up pastime. Yet like so many unbreakable habits I had started young. My senior year in high school I had found some porno magazines in a neighbor's garbage. I hid them in an old tree house I had built in the yard. The magazines all had pictures of men dressed as women. One in particular had affected me, it had a pictorial that started out with an absolutely stunning woman posing in a formal evening gown. Slowly, page after page she stripped down until she was standing there in only her pantyhose and high heels. I turned the page and saw the next picture. She was standing there holding an enormous erection that she had slipped out from a slit in her nylons. To me she was still too beautiful to be anything but a woman, even with a cock. Until I saw the next picture. She was actually a he. The man had been wearing a wig and he was standing there holding it in his hand. He was smiling into the camera as if to say he knew he had fooled everyone, especially me. There was even a picture of him in the front pages of the magazine dressed as a man. An average looking man! I was blown away. How could an otherwise masculine man become that beautiful?
I began to experiment with myself. It started with my mother's closet and progressed onto the women I baby sat for. When I was alone I got into the stockings and garters and anything else that would make me look like a woman. Now at 31 I had developed the expertise and moxie to pass as a full blown woman. I had gotten so good at make up that when I dressed, the only outward sign of manhood was my voice.
By 6:30pm a mere two hours after Tonya had left town, I had gulped down a quick meal and had applied my make up and fixed my hair. My hair had some length to it for a man but the brown locks made a nice short hairstyle for a woman and I kept it androgynous enough. I parted it down one side of my head and let it flow down the other. A little goop for some hold and a greased look and I had to be honest, quite a few woman would be jealous.
It was warm for an early spring night, about 85 degrees, so I went with a bohemian look. A lot of crossdressers liked to dress slutty. I dressed more or less to fit in. Although I had never stopped anywhere dressed as a woman, dressing like a normal woman out for a drive gave me confidence. I slid some really sweet stockings on that I had discovered in a mail order catalogue. They had arrived a week or so ago and I was busting at the seams to try them on. They were a a very sheer bright royal blue color. I hooked them to my garter belt and slipped on a pair of black pumps. The loose fitting sundress I dropped over my head went down to about mid thigh. I looked in the bedroom's full length mirror. Everything matched and I looked downright sexy. I had been dieting for about three weeks in preparation for this weekend so I was down to about 140lbs. Like Tonya I have somewhat of an athletic build myself and I am 5'-8" so I was a little light but it was worth the pain and torture. It had been 6 months since I had been able to do this and despite being older each time I always looked better. My cheekbones stood out with a light coat of blush and mascara brought out my blue eyes and had them sparkling.
As I stood there admiring myself the usual reluctance hit me. Why was I doing this? I mean I wasn't gay. Hell my girlfriend was beautiful. In fact I always tried to mimic her make up and her style when I dressed. I always told myself it was the thrill. Or did I just want to pull off what that man in the magazine had done? Make myself so beautiful that I could fool anyone with my looks. I knew at this point ego was involved. I knew I looked good as a woman, as good as that man did with I am sure some professional make up help. I had begun to understand why women were so desperate to look pretty. Vanity was definitely a sin.
I hustled into the garage and hopped into the car. The street was clear and it was dark so I was able to quickly escape from my neighborhood and get across town. I was rock hard as the first car pulled up to mine at a light. The young man couldn't take his eyes off me as I sat there pretending not to notice, gently rubbing my silky smooth panties against my erection. I took a turn down a side street into a very nice neighborhood to catch my breath. Obviously most people would consider this just plain weird but to me it was an incredible turn on. Then it happened. The light for the heat sensor was blinking. I took evasive action turning my Jetta around and hoping against hope I could make it back home. It wasn't going to happen. I lived almost 10 miles away. I pulled over and turned off the engine thinking if I let it cool down a bit I could start back home. It was at that point that the steam began escaping from under the hood. I got out of the car and popped the hood. It was clear that the radiator needed more water if I was going to make it home. I leaned over the engine and checked it out.
"Had your air conditioner on, huh?" Came from the walkway I had landed in front of.
I jumped out from under the hood. After a couple of years of wondering whether I could pull it off as a woman, I was now going to get my chance. Only I knew it was hopeless. I had a man's voice and a fairly low cut dress that showed off quite the Adam's apple. I had been busted and it was going to be pretty embarrassing. The well built black man had come out of his house. He was wearing a tee shirt and what looked like a pair of bicycle shorts.
He had long dreadlocks, which hung down his back. He was standing there in his bare feet checking out my legs. I knew as soon as I spoke no amount of darkness would protect me and he would know I was a man.
"You need some water?" He asked in a funny accent I couldn't quite place.
"Ugh yea, well I was at this costume party and ..." I thought I had come up with a half decent excuse for my outfit but he didn't bite.
"Well you're a long way from Halloween." He smiled after showing some intiial shock at hearing my voice. "Come on in. I even have some of that anti-freeze that plugs holes." He started back into his house having satisfied his curiouslty as to what had been going on in front of his house. If I wanted his help I was going to have to follow him inside. I had never seen him before and probably never would again. Besides he seemed willing to help me despite my being a transvestite so I decided to get this embarrassing situation over with as quickly as possible.
"Come on in." He repeated as he opened the front door to his house for me. I walked into the living room and the black man held out his hand. The first thing I realized was that I had never interacted with anyone dressed as a woman. I had no idea how to act or what to say. I decided to not try and be feminine with my voice. It just wasn't going to work and the cat was already out of the bag anyway. We shook hands.
My name is Jacques." By his name I finally recognized his accent as French.
"Hi I'm Dennis." I replied.
Don't you girls have a woman's name when you go out dressed up?" Jacques asked curiously.
"Well I am not really one..." I started to think of yet another explanation and then gave up.
"You look familiar." The black man stated as he looked me over. Now I really wanted to run away. This guy was going to pick me out of his past and then everyone in town was going to find out that I liked to go out dressed as a woman. I was thinkng about Tonya's reaction, my friends and quite possibly my family. I was devastated. He must have picked up my panicked reaction. "No, no I don't know you like that. I mean I think you look like someone famous or at least that I have seen somewhere. Don't worry by the way, your secret is safe with me." He finished with a comforting smile that made me feel a whole lot better. "I must think about this woman. Please do have a seat." He turned and went off to the kitchen.
I sat down on the couch and looked around the room. It seemed to be a large TV room with a more formal living room running off the side. I could tell by the size of the house and the way it was decorated that this man was successful. We looked to be about the same age but he could afford some rather expensive furnishings that I hadn't even thought of buying for my home. There were some impressive paintings on the walls and the room was framed with a dark expensive wood trim. I guessed the couch I was sitting on was custom made. It was very large and comfortable and made of a dark green chenille fabric.
"Well I remember who you look like." The black man said as he entered the room carrying two beers. "She was in a Bond movie with the one that only lasted a couple of movies. Forgive me but I am a fan of Sean Connery not the others. Although Roger Moore could make you laugh."
"I know who you mean. Thanks. I guess" I didn't want him to know that I was actually flattered. I had always thought that I dressed as a woman because I looked good doing it. Now I knew. The rush was a part of it too but there was my ego again. I knew I was better looking than the transvestites whose websites I checked out for ideas and inspiration. Jacques' compliment went a long way towards proving it.
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Keywords: Epiphany,