Jinnis and Wishes and Tits, Oh My?!
Keywords: My?!, and, Wishes, and, Jinnis, Tits,, Oh,
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You wouldn"t know it to look at me now, but I was a fiftyish, chubby, archeologist who spent most of his life digging in the southwestern desert for government wages as a civil servant. My name was Eric Stahl. My stamina was not what it was before, and when I got to cum, there wasn"t much but a dribble - not that I got a lot of opportunities out in the boondocks. I lived in southeastern Arizona near Benson, digging when civil engineering or civil contractors hit something of an archeological interest. I would come in, do the excavation take pictures and remove the artifacts and judge whether continued work would disturb further remains of a public concern. The story really begins when a state highway turned up a lot of pottery shards and what might have been an Indian burial.
How the subject of this peculiar tale got in the Indian burial cleft, I cannot begin to tell you. I can tell you the burial itself was a good solid date back to about 1300 AD. My first thought was "hoax", but the clay bottle was labeled in what had to be Arabic, and the wax stopper was undeniably marked with a Seal of Solomon. It was an afterthought at best, tucked back in a crack in the rocks so that none of the other diggers saw it. I came back in the dark with a flashlight and lifted it out gently after taking about a dozen pictures of it in place. It kind of made me feel better that I wasn"t really screwing up the site record. I was leaving the next day so it was no big deal to squirrel it away with my stuff.
When I got it home, I turned it over and over in my hands - I deal in Native American archeology, not middle eastern stuff, so I had no idea what the Arabic calligraphy on the clay bottle read, but I was amazed that it should have been where it was in the first place and the Seal of Solomon picqued my curiosity. Heck, I"d read the Thousand and One Nights over and over as a kid, and read it again as an adult in the multi-volume Burton translation. These were not really kiddy stories, but the Seal of Solomon was associated with locking away the Jinns and Efrits of Arabic folklore., and here by God was a bottle which had every appearance of antiquity and an untouched seal. Genies, afrits, and mysterious bottles in unlikely places were not part of my workaday life.
There was nothing for it but to open it.
At first it was a disappointment when the seal broke and the bottle opened, nothing much happened at all. No puff of smoke, no smell of brimstone, just a bottle. But there was a hush of quiet expectation, like I was no longer alone in the room.
Then it spoke. "I have slept a long time, Son of Adam, and I wish not to tarry here longer than necessary. I owe you three wishes, then I will be returned to my prison."
The figure slowly levitated out of the bottle, no more than a few inches tall. It hovered over the floor and then the feet touched the ground and the figure seemed to swell till the Jinn stood about four feet tall. "What is your wish?"
I had opened the bottle, I still sat there amazed, after slowly picking up my chin from the floor, I said, "This isn"t some kind of joke is it?"
"Look, Mac, I just got out of a bottle after Allah only knows how many years, and you ask me if I am real or not. Give me a friggin" break, okay." The Jinn patted his little cloven foot on the floor.
" You have a very good command of English for someone locked away for all this time." I replied.
The Jinn looked puzzled. "English? I speak Arabic, its part of the charm that you understand me, okay? Get on with it, Knowing that after your third wish I get stuck back in the bottle is almost more than I can stand."
I took a slow breath. "From what I understand, I can get in a lot of trouble if I don"t think out my wishes pretty well. Isn"t that right?"
The Jinn sighed. " Caveat Emptor, buddy! I am not responsible for the outcome of your wishes, just fulfilling them with as little effort as I can. Any heat you take is what you made for yourself, okay?"
"Okay, okay. I don"t suppose you can give me hints about how to ask for the wishes, huh?"
"Like what"s in it for me, if I do? After your done and I"m done its back in the friggin" bottle for me."
I decided that maybe there should be something in it for him after all, if he was on my side, then maybe I wouldn"t get stung as bad as the stories said I might. "Suppose I made a last wish to set you free, what would happen then?"
"I"d be free to do whatever I want. And I might be real pissed with men in general if I got loose - just tryin" to be honest with you. . ."
I took the plunge. "If I get what I want in the first two wishes, then I would give you your freedom with the third, its no skin off my nose."
His little eyes glowed, and I knew he was not to be trusted. "Sure, guy, I"d be happy to give you some advice. Bargained well and done."
"I can stipulate in the wishes, right and if its all one continuous wish on one subject, I could work it around to get what I want, right?"
"Yeah, sure, guy. I can work it out, and if I did not have to go back in that bottle, I"d do a real good job for you, sure."
I took a breath; a second, just to settle my nerves. This needed some thought. I needed wealth and a way to make sure I lived long enough to enjoy that wealth in the way that seemed the best to me. "Selfish is as selfish does," as Gump might say.
The Jinn seemed a little impatient. He could damned well wait as far as I was concerned.
"Okay, Jinni. I want my first wish to take care of living for a long time, not immortality, mind you that wouldn"t be fair. I want to have control over my body completely, I want to be able to sense disease, break downs of any kind in my body and heal it in direct manipulation - kill the germs, patch the damage whatever. I want to be able to do this without undue pain or discomfort in a matter of a couple minutes and wind up with a body that is completely healthy. I want to be able to shed fat, tone muscle add bone, height, weight or shrink height and weight and make my body look like whatever I want, okay. And once I have a body appearance I want to keep, then I get to have a full set of identity papers that will pass muster anywhere - you know passport, driver"s license, social security - whatever I need - a portfolio of identity that changes with my body appearance. Can you pull that off?" I smiled at him, "is there anything I should know about the ramifications of this?"
"Well, boss - its awful open ended about the identity thing, sure you can fix what"s broken, change your outward appearance; but you"re a guy, I can"t let you change into a woman - you gotta keep your wee-wee okay? And I can only give you a limited number of these identities - let"s say four including the one you got now."
" I could change my body to other looks and appearances, but I just couldn"t have any valid ID, right?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever?"
"Okay let"s go for it, but you gotta help me through the process the first time, okay?"
"You got it, boss!"
I thought about my body and started to feel everything, there were half a dozen microbes of pathological intent in my system right now, I carefully weeded them out. I knew which ones would harm me and which ones were there to help instinctively. I eliminated placque from my arteries, patched damage to ligaments and joints, took care of a weakness in a cerebral artery that would eventually have blown and given me a severe stroke. I dropped sixty pounds of fat and added twenty poiunds of muscle on my frame. My thinning hair filled in. The three teeth I was missing grew back; and I had to spit out a half dozen dental fillings cause the cavities were filled in with healthy tooth. When I got finished, I saw that five minutes had passed on the clock and I had only felt twinges and slight nausea during the whole thing.
There was disgusting puddle of fatty slime on the floor, and my clothes were ruined.
I sat down, my head swimming.
"You okay, boss?" The Jin was a foot taller than he had been, and a little fiercer in his appearance his teeth getting a little longer than they had started.
"Why are you looking meaner?" I asked with some trepidation.
"Can"t help it, when I fill the second wish I"ll be back to what I should be and then when the third wish is filled, I shrink down and get sucked into the bottle. Its part of the punishment."
I felt a little sorry for the guy, though I knew I should feel sorrier for a great white shark. The Jinn was no less dangerous. "Now, I can make these adjustments whenever I want right?"
"No, boss, not whenever but three times a week or so will be the max. I don"t deal in absolutes here; I have my limitations. By the way, here"s your set of identity papers all with the proper photos and such." He handed me a folio with a passport, a driver"s license, a social security card and such. "Take good care of the packet, dude, it changes with you, and if it gets lost, its gone, okay?"
I took it and placed it in a desk drawer.
"Okay, Dudley, that seems to fill the bill, but I haven"t really changed my outward appearance much so far, I can do that now and then change back - but that"s it for a week. Is that what you are telling me?"
"That"s about it, boss Three times a week if you don"t push the change too far. Twice a week if you make a big change."
"Like if I wanted to be a girl, huh?"
"You can"t BE a girl, boss. That"s outside the parameters of my power."
I decided to test it. I began the change looking in the mirror. I was almost six feet tall, and 210 pounds. First, I dropped six inches in height and shed fifty pounds. Then I started rearranging my fat and saw my waist shrink, I added a little padding to my butt, without letting it droop and rounded it. Then I shifted fatty tissue to my chest molding two boobs to about a C cup. I stripped out of my clothing as it tangled around me. I sucked in the hair on my legs, chest, face and arms till the skin was smooth and flawless. This was fun, I softened my features, let my hair and nails grow out, changed the hair color to a honey blonde, I"d always found attractive.
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Keywords: My?!, and, Wishes, and, Jinnis, Tits,, Oh,